Former Miss California Called on the Carpet for Winning Her Own Talent Competition

November 10, 2009

We’re gonna run out of euphemisms here.

You remember Former Miss California, of course, from earlier this year when she became an overnight Idol for the National Organization for Marriage and the rest of the Religious Right because of her an incoherent answer in the Miss USA pageant. She was a woman of virtue, a pretty young girl, and a damsel in distress all in one convenient package.

Well that package seems to be cumming apart, as word of a solo sex tape has gotten out. It has ended her lawsuit against the folks at the Miss California pageant. More directly, the suit was reduced from one million dollars to attorney fees about a minute after the tape of her furiously masturbating started (with her mother in the room).

Anyway, this has all blown up in the last week and this morning Former Miss California was on the Today Show, ostensibly to talk about the new book that she “wrote” (one wonders if she’s even read it yet). Needless to say, her videotaped nail polish removal was discussed. Of course, she’s a victim (again), this time comparable to Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor and Sarah “The Quitter” Palin.

Oh, and playing with the man in the boat is apparently not classified as sex. Because she said so.

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Keep an ear out for Former Miss California’s (cunni)linguistic skills at the 6:30 mark as she describes how shocked she was that the owner of the Miss USA pageant would objectify women. She also vacillates between the holiness of speaking her mind and the horror of others speaking their minds.

I have no problem with Former Miss California practicing her finger painting. I don’t even have a problem if she does it in front of a camera. I do, however, have a problem with her acting as moral arbiter while she does what she and many/most/all of her followers would call “disgusting” if someone else did it., which is reportedly what she called it before the camera panned up to show her face.

Hypocrite, pay attention to the words of your own Bible.


  • Melissa from Ohio

    I believe that by simply watching this video my IQ has decreased significantly. This woman is so caught up in the idea that she is “being attacked”. This was a horrible interview. It shocks me that this would even be aired unless it is part of the world's plan to plot against ex-Miss CA. It blows my mind how some people are convinced the world is revolving around them.

  • Melissa from Ohio

    I believe that by simply watching this video my IQ has decreased significantly. This woman is so caught up in the idea that she is “being attacked”. This was a horrible interview. It shocks me that this would even be aired unless it is part of the world's plan to plot against ex-Miss CA. It blows my mind how some people are convinced the world is revolving around them.