Asterisk

House Speaker John Boehner was in Dayton, Ohio (where I live) on Tuesday to speak at the Dayton area Chamber of Commerce’s annual meeting.

Outside the banquet center, I joined the good folks at GetEqual Ohio in protesting Speaker Boehner’s decision to defend the so-called Defense of Marriage Act, which Attorney General Eric Holder agrees is unconstitutional.

The newspaper went and posted a picture of me with GetEqual Ohio leader Tom Morgan and Service Employees International Union’s Grant Williams dressed as the Grim Reaper.

Look! There’s me!

As the well-heeled attendees walked past us from the parking lot to the banquet center, not many made eye contact. In fact, most did their level best to pretend we weren’t there. And that’s fine. I completely understand that reaction.

But then there was this one guy who yelled, and I quote, “GOD MADE ADAM AND EVE, NOT ADAM AND STEVE!”

I just stood there dumbfounded that this was the best he could do. I mean, of course there’s the offensive slur. But I just hate that his chosen slur was so bereft of any creativity. If I were going to yell at protesters on a sidewalk, I’d at least try to come up with something new.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been thunderstruck by Adam and Steve. Watch the anti-gay forums, blog comments, and facebook pages and I guarantee that you’ll see Adam and Steve at least a couple times a week. Before NOM’s facebook page was reformed, Adam and Steve was a daily sight.

Just come up with something new, that’s all I’m saying. Come up with something new and then shout it at me. If you can’t do that, then modify something old before you put it out there. At least then you’d be demonstrating some pride in your work.

As it is, I’m just disappointed in you.

Big Think has a great interview with longtime straight ally Judith Light in which she talks extensively about how she got involved in LGBT advocacy and HIV/AIDS advocacy, as well as how she advised former Who’s The Boss castmate Danny Pintauro (see picture below) make the decision to come out publicly when the National Enquirer threatened to out him in 1997.

Some good insight, especially relating to the beginning of the HIV/AIDS crisis and the political climate surrounding it.

Who's The Boss cast photo

Two years ago, the Presbyterian Church (USA) (PCUSA) voted on a constitutional amendment that would have allowed LGB persons to be pastors, reversing language added in 1996 that specifically removed LGBs from consideration.

Amendment 08-B ultimately failed to garner enough votes among the presbyteries, though with a far slimmer margin than when the issue was up for a vote in 2002.

Now it’s time to give it another shot. The presbyteries are again voting on an amendment for the same purpose, this time with Amendment 10-A. (More Light Presbyterians, which has been leading the fight for years now, has the verbiage and more specific information. Also, I’ll be using the term LGB because trans ministers seem to be permitted already.)

For our purposes here, it’s most important to understand that under the current rules in place since 1996, a local PCUSA congregation is not permitted to appoint an openly LGB pastor. Amendment 10-A would not force any local congregation to accept an LGB minister if they didn’t want to, but would permit a congregation to elect an LGB minister if they wanted.

In short, this amendment restores choice to the local congregation, which is much more in keeping with the way the PCUSA church generally operates.

Presbyteries have been voting for several months now, and the outlook is better than it was in 2009. Rev. John Shuck has been tracking the vote, and as he said last week:

…we need only seven more YESes to make a significant step in healing the church.

• We have had 16 positive flips.
• We have had 2 negative switches.
• So that means 14 net flips.
• 35 presbyteries are yet to vote. [ed: One has since voted NO]
• 12 of those had voted YES last time.
• We are in good shape.
• But there is a lot of work to do.

Very good news, indeed. As Rev. Shuck says, passage isn’t a sure thing and it won’t be until voting ends in late May, but they are cautiously optimistic. For more specific and regularly updated voting data, see More Light’s chart here.

I’ll be keeping an eye out for developments on Amendment 10-A for the next few weeks, but until we get the final counts, here’s Presbyterian minister Mark Sandlin explaining just one of the more salient reasons for a YES vote in a brief excerpt from his blog The God Article:

At some point, those who stand against ordaining people whose sexual orientation happens to be homosexual are going to have to admit that they believe two things that most of the rest of the Christian community do not see as core values in the teachings of Jesus: 1) that God’s love comes in degrees; that God loves some people more than others; that if you are gay you are less worthy of that love and hence less capable of being called into ministry and 2) they personally know better than the individual who feels called into ministry whether or not God is actually calling them into ministry.

Thanks to reader and ally Greg for pointing me to the new amendment!

At the National Equality March in 2009, there was a woman standing alone on the sidewalk along the march route. Her sign read “THIS STRAIGHT WOMAN SUPPORTS YOU.”

Cheers erupted in waves as people got close enough to read the sign, and quite a few stepped out of the march to get their pictures taken with her. I remember thinking how unfortunate it was that so many of us were so hungry for the support of one straight ally willing to stand with us.

Yet we are. So far, the Brazil volleyball story that I posted on Thursday has been shared over 17,000 times on facebook, over 1,000 times on twitter, and at least 1,500 times on tumblr. All of that in less than four days, and it ain’t because of my skillful prose. It’s because of this picture and what this picture means.

A stadium full of allies. WOW.

This isn’t just a stadium full of people standing up for a player. It’s a stadium full of mostly straight people standing up for a gay player. That’s an important distinction.

We are hungry for straight folks to stand with us. Even if they have nothing to gain, even though they have something to lose, we want them to fight by our side. Raymond Miller, a video by whom I’ve posted before, talked about this last November:

We love and appreciate our supportive straight friends. We know that some of them have taken great strides to reform their old opinions. We are grateful for their changes of heart.

But if I’ve learned anything these last couple years, it’s that we need our straight friends and family members who are passively supportive to take the next step to active advocacy.

That’s what happened when that ally took the time to show her support at the National Equality March, and that’s what happened when a stadium full of straight people stood up and with one voice proclaimed, “Your prejudice is not welcome here. Leave our LGBT sisters and brothers alone.”

It’s the 15th annual Day of Silence, a GLSEN-sponsored international event to raise awareness of and stop anti-LGBT violence in our schools. I hope people will take this post in that context.

I’ve recently begun following actor/comedian/commentator John Fugelsang on the twitter. He’s a damn funny guy and knows how to say a lot in 140 characters or less.

A few weeks ago, he hit us with this message: “Calling peer abuse ‘bullying’ is about as effective as calling homeless people ‘hoboes,’” and linked to a video commentary he made last October for GRITtv, after a spate of LGBT youth suicides hit the news.

John is absolutely right. The time has come to put away this term that has come to minimize what’s being done to so many of our children and youth.

My saying that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who’s been reading this blog for a while; I said the same thing two years ago after Carl Walker Hoover completed suicide a week before his 12th birthday.

I just wonder what would happen if people stopped calling it “bullying” and started calling it what it really is: ABUSE. Would that change the way people react to it? Would that loosen the hold of the “boys will be boys” mentality?

So from now on, you’ll only see me call it peer abuse. It’s our jobs as parents, educators, administrators, clergy, mentors, and friends to stand up for the abused. Not only that, it’s our job to stand up against the bullies abusers and help them to stop being abusers.

Because really, as much anger and frustration as I have with peer abusers, it’s the adults who are the real problem.