Asterisk

It’s been about a week since comedian Tracy Morgan’s anti-gay, kill-his-son rant became publicly known. Here’s what audience member Kevin Rogers heard, which Morgan has acknowledged saying:

…Mr. Morgan took it upon himself to mention about how he feels all this gay shit was crazy and that women are a gift from God and that “Born this Way” is bullshit, gay is a choice, and the reason he knows this is exactly because “God don’t make no mistakes” (referring to God not making someone gay cause that would be a mistake).

He said that there is no way a woman could love and have sexual desire for another woman, that’s just a woman pretending because she hates a fucking man.

He mentioned that gay was something kids learn from the media and programming, and that bullied kids should just bust some ass and beat those other little fuckers that bully them, not whine about it.

He said if his son that was gay he better come home and talk to him like a man and not [he mimicked a gay, high pitched voice] or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N (one word I refuse to use) to death.

We're not laughing.

Of course, Morgan gave the usual PR-driven “I’m sorry for the words I chose” non-apology. In response, Carl Siciliano of the Ali Forney Center in New York City made a brilliant invitation to Morgan:

“We appreciate Tracy Morgan’s apology, but wish to invite him to meet with some of our young people who have endured violence and rejection from their families for being LGBT, so that he can better understand the human suffering caused by those who promote homophobia against youths.”

I hope Morgan takes them up on the invitation. It could prove to be a life-changing event.

I also hope that he brings fellow comedian and recent costar Kevin Hart with him. Hart has a similar anti-gay rant in his stand-up DVD Seriously Funny, released late last year. To wit:

One of my biggest fears is my son growing up and being gay. That’s a fear.

Now keep in mind, I’m not homophobic. I got nothing against gay people. Be happy. Do what you want to do. But me being a heterosexual male, if I can keep my son from being gay, I will!

Now, with that being said, I’m not sure I handled my son’s first gay moment correctly. Every kid has a gay moment. Every kid. But when it happens you got to nip it in the bud, you got to stop it right then. “HEY! STOP! THAT’S GAY!” Quick. “NO!”

I don’t know if I handled my son’s situation right, okay? He’s at a birthday party, right? My son’s at a birthday party, he’s playing. You know how kids play, they just play. You don’t know what they’re doing, but they’re having a good time. They’re just doing a bunch of stuff. Right? They’re moving around.

I said, okay, he’s good. I finished talking, I turned back around to check on my son again, a little boy was grinding on my son’s ass.

I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and knocked them both down. “Hey, what’s going on here? What kind of party is this? Huh? What kind of party is this? What’s going on here?”

This lady came out, she’s like, “What are you doing, they’re kids, let them play.” I said, “Well you show me another kid getting fucked in the ass and I’ll calm down.”

Will we hold the less famous Kevin Hart to the standard we seem to be holding Tracy Morgan to? So far, the answer is a disappointing no.

Speaking of racism, Jon Stewart took to The Daily Show to call out FOX for their latest manufactured controversy, this time after First Lady Michelle Obama invited famous poet Common to perform at the White House’s annual Poetry Slam last week.

FOX’s reaction was…let’s just say it was transparently racist.

(I don’t know why Comedy Central split the segment in two, but watch both parts. Because I said so, that’s why.)

Standing ovation for Jon Stewart, folks. Once again he’s right on the money.

Of course, the show did go on and Common did perform at the White House. Here’s a quick snippet of Common’s performance. It isn’t included in the White House video because he sampled a copyrighted work, but this will have to do until someone releases the whole thing.

UPDATE 5/15: A few minutes ago, Common posted a fuller (but still not complete) version of his performance that includes some behind the scenes moments and a word from back in his hotel room after the Poetry Slam. Enjoy!

(Do watch the official video. There are some damn fine performances in there. I adored Jill Scott' selections.)

I just realized that I haven’t written a single post about the It Gets Better Project. Isn’t that ridiculous? Especially now that the It Gets Better book is available, there’s just no excuse for it.

This is one of the first IGB videos I saw when the project started last October, and it’s still one of my favorites. Harry and Wayne put together a great piece on the common hardships so many LGBT people face and gave some practical tips for surviving such a difficult time.

I’ve always had an affinity for older people. Maybe that’s one reason I like this couple so much.

Aren’t they the best?

Sometimes I don’t think I could make it without Stuart Smalley. NBC has done a fantastic job of getting all the good SNL/Stuart Smalley video clips off the internet, but you know who I’m talking about, right?

I'm shoulding all over myself.

Of course, Stuart was created and played by Al Franken, the comedian turned author turned talk show host turned Senator.

I don’t know how to transition from that sentence to the next paragraph, and that’s okay. My transitions don’t have to be perfect. Whatever I write will be good enough!

Although, having a good transition shows that I care about what I’m writing, and if I leave it just good enough people will think I don’t care. Well I don’t care! … I mean, I don’t care what they think, because I do care about what I’m writing even though it might look like I don’t care.

In 1992, Franken recorded what I consider to be his best comedic work ever (not to be grandiose), a book on tape called “You’re Good Enough, You’re Smart Enough, And Doggone It People Like You: A Healing Journey Through The Dysfunctional Forest And Other Guided Visualizations.” (It’s a long title, but that’s…okay. It’s appropriate.)

This is what I like to call stamina comedy. There’s a point about 35 minutes into the hour-long recording where you just don’t think you can take any more, but if you push through the pain, the reward is amazing.

Here’s a fifteen minute sample courtesy of audible.com that I totally didn’t rip from their website. (This clip begins at about the ten minute mark.)

It will be perfect in its imperfection. Okay.

Seriously, buy the audiobook. You won’t regret it, and it’s cheap as free anyway, so what do you have to lose? Also check out the companion book “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me,” which was released at the same time.

P.S. We do not speak of the movie. EVER.

The sports world is none too happy with three-time National Figure Skating Champion Johnny Weir. He’s just too flamboyant for men’s figure skating.

I’m glad Bryan Safi addressed this, because it’s been pissing me off. I mean, come on. It’s figure skating, for goodness sake.

ESPN’s LZ Granderson (who has the most fantastic locs in the universe) tackles the issue from a different and equally important angle.

[...] if some of us would take off our black-and-white blinders long enough — and perhaps stop acting the way we think we’re supposed to act — we might actually begin to see and appreciate the diversity within the lexicon of manhood. This philosophy isn’t just about creating an environment in which it’s comfortable for gay men to compete in sports. It’s also about creating a space in which it’s OK for straight men not to.

So with regard to the Olympics, I don’t think the question we should be asking is whether or not Weir being gay hurt his medal chances. That’s too surface for my taste. No, the real question is why so many dudes ignore, and are even threatened by, the possibility that Weir could be straight. Now that’s a conversation only real men can have.

Defining FABULOUS

On a side note, Tom and Lorenzo have ripped the Olympic Men’s Figure Skating costumes in their own inimitable way. (Ladies too!)