It’s not the outcome I would have liked, but I suppose it’ll have to do. At least this way we won’t have to watch the judge wink at another jury and tell them to go easy on the boy. At least we won’t have to watch another jury decide that shooting a gay (possibly trans) kid twice in the back of the head at point blank range because he’s gay not only isn’t a hate crime, but also isn’t murder. At least it’s over.

Except, not quite.

Those of us who care about LGBT kids are left to clean up the mess, as Republican and religious right figures (as if there’s a difference) blame Larry’s school and the LGBT civil rights movement for his murder.

But the worst, most galling accusation comes from Larry’s own mother. She blames not the school (look deeper than her words), and not the murderer, at least not completely. Here’s a snippet from the LA Times article about McInerney’s plea deal.

The victim’s mother, Dawn King, revealed for the first time Monday that she had contacted school officials four days before the shooting in an effort to solicit their cooperation in toning down her son’s behavior. The boy had been taken from the Kings’ home two months earlier by authorities because of problems at home.

She said she was told that her son had a civil right to explore his sexual identity.

“I knew, gut instinct, that something serious was going to happen,” she said. “They should have contained him, contained his behavior.”

Over and over we hear about kids going to their teachers and principals and getting no help. Over and over we hear about their principals telling them that it would stop if they would just stop being so damn faggy or girly or butch or different.

That is, in essence, what Larry’s mother is saying. She couldn’t stop him. The school wouldn’t stop him. So instead of blaming the person who pulled the trigger and put two bullets through the back of her son’s head, she blames her dead son because his identity didn’t match what she wanted.

Over and over our kids tell us that they just want to be themselves and be safe, and we tell them, well, you should be able to have that. Over and over they test the waters and go into hiding, or worse, kill themselves because the adults they look to for guidance say just what Larry’s mother is saying here: If somebody makes fun of you or beats you up or scares you or murders you, it’s your own fault because you won’t stop being queer. It’s a shocking abdication of a parent’s job, but I’d wager it’s something we’ve all heard before, even if it’s only been implied.

What happens next? We keep on telling our stories, letting those around us know that we are their family members, their coworkers, their classmates, and their friends. We keep on telling straight people until everybody knows, until it becomes impossible for straight people to accept the silly notion that we’re monsters to be feared and mistreated. We keep on telling the next generation of trans, bi, lesbian, and gay kids that things will get better because we’re making things get better.

As this year comes to a close, my hope is that someday very soon, Larry’s death and his mother’s accusation will be relics of a past as unimaginable to our descendants as that future is to me today.

(cc) Matt Algren for Asterisk, 2011. | Permalink

Very few things make me feel this way. Oh, I have a temper, and I can be a bit of a dick, but it’s rare for me to feel like this.

Earlier tonight, hours after New York City Mayor and multi-billionaire Michael Bloomberg ordered Zuccotti Park raided, journalists arrested, and the Constitution pissed all over, a security guard for Brookfield Properties, which owns the park, …wow this is the longest run on sentence ever. This is what happens when I’m mad.

Anyway, the security guard called comedian (?) Joey Boots a “faggot.” On camera. While trying to look tough before running away when Joey didn’t just stand there and take it.

Here are a couple shots of the bigot rent-a-cop who couldn’t control his bigotry with a camera in his face. (Uppity faggot doesn’t know his place, so he’s going to tell him.) He wouldn’t give his name, you know, because bigot tough guys hate it when people know their names.

Anybody know who he is? Send me an email or comment on the post. I want his name plastered all over the internet so future prospective employers know who they’re getting.

P.S. Who wears sunglasses like that? Bigots, apparently.

(h/t Scott Wooledge, via towleroad)

(cc) Matt Algren for Asterisk, 2011. | Permalink

I mean, the— the right to marry who you please isn’t in the Constitution. But I think all of us assume that if a state— decided to pass a law saying, “Brian, you can’t marry the woman you love,” that you’d think that was unconstitutional. Well, where does that come from? I think it comes from a right to privacy— that may not be listed in the Constitution but is implied by the structure of the Constitution.

I’m not the only one who sees the direct contradiction between this and “God is in the mix,” am I?

Incidentally, I’ve long thought we should be using the “right to privacy” argument instead of the “love is love” one when talking about the right of civil marriage. It doesn’t hit people’s emotions as well, though, so we’ll just struggle along with “love is love.”

(cc) Matt Algren for Asterisk, 2011. | Permalink

By now, you’ve probably seen the news report from Chillicothe, Ohio (about 75 miles from me) that rocketed across the internet yesterday (hat tip to Equality Ohio) about a 15-year-old student who was brutally attacked in school this week because he’s gay. (Trigger warning, just to be safe.)

See Dan Savage’s column for my reaction to this story. Cosigned, 100%.

Coincidentally, the school had a big assembly (screencap) about online and offline peer abuse just last Wednesday. Speaker Josh Gunderson addressed the students, ending his presentation by directly addressing suicides caused by peer abuse. Here is Gunderson’s It Gets Better video:

See Gunderson’s Youtube channel to get an idea what he does. It looks like a good program, and we need more of that kind of thing to reach students, but the abuse won’t stop until the adults in charge recognize that this is a real and urgent problem, not one you can just talk about for an hour and then forget for another year.

It’s important that adults treat peer abuse and the accompanying physical attacks without kid gloves. These are serious life-and-death issues. Zach has a concussion and is in a danger zone for self-harm and suicidal ideation right now because of this attack by a peer.

In fact, his attacker is probably back in school today, potentially sitting in the same classroom as his victim. Obviously, this will only exacerbate the attack’s long-term effects.

Union-Scioto School officials must act swiftly, both to make Zach whole and to make it known throughout the community that peer abuse, specifically peer abuse against LGBT people, are not accepted in their schools. Local officials in the sheriff’s and prosecutor’s office must treat this attack seriously and seek real penalties in order to rehabilitate the attacker.

Failing to do that will send the opposite message that attacking and abusing LGBTs is okay, and that’s a message we can’t afford for them to send.

(cc) Matt Algren for Asterisk, 2011. | Permalink

Miss Representation will premiere tonight at 9PM Eastern/8PM Central exclusively on OWN, Oprah Winfrey’s (relatively) new network, so set your DVRs!

(If you don’t have time for the full eight-minute trailer, here’s a shorter version.)

From the official Miss Representation website:

In a society where media is the most persuasive force shaping cultural norms, the collective message that our young women and men overwhelmingly receive is that a woman’s value and power lie in her youth, beauty, and sexuality, and not in her capacity as a leader. While women have made great strides in leadership over the past few decades, the United States is still 90th in the world for women in national legislatures, women hold only three percent of clout positions in mainstream media, and 65 percent of women and girls have disordered eating behaviors.

Stories from teenage girls and provocative interviews with politicians, journalists, entertainers, activists and academics, like Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow, Margaret Cho, Rosario Dawson and Gloria Steinem build momentum as Miss Representation accumulates startling facts and statistics that will leave the audience shaken and armed with a new perspective.

Honestly, it’s killing me that since I don’t have access to OWN, I won’t be able to see Miss Representation until the DVD eventually comes out. I’m counting on all of you to fill me in, so get to watching!

(cc) Matt Algren for Asterisk, 2011. | Permalink

Family Research Council and American Family Association have both been considered hate groups by the Southern Poverty Law Center for some time now, and with good reason; both groups push their shared agenda with dangerous propaganda and outright lies about LGBT people.

To repeat: Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum all accepted the invitation of these hate groups (as they have for years), hoping to get their endorsements and the votes of like-minded individuals.

Do you really need more information before you cast your vote in the 2012 presidential election? What stance on which issue could possibly make it okay to vote for a candidate who has actively courted bigotry?

(cc) Matt Algren for Asterisk, 2011. | Permalink

One thing I didn’t mention over at Techcitement: Am I the only one a little put off by how much Barbara Walters was concerned about the feelings of gay kids’ parents in the clip from The View? She doesn’t seem to be worried about what they’ll do to their kid because of those feelings, just that they’ll have them. I found it a bit bizarre.

You can also check out my other articles, including one about using light bulbs for high speed data transmission. The technology is for real, it’s on its way, and you will lose your shit over the demonstration video.

Give the rest of Techcitement a look-see, too. We’ve got a darn good writing staff going, and you should really get on board now before we sell out and go all corporate.

(cc) Matt Algren for Asterisk, 2011. | Permalink

Patti Stanger, a person I’d never heard of until Monday, is apparently the centerpiece of some millionaire matchmaker show on Bravo. You know, the Bravo that spends a lot of time courting a gay audience. For some reason she appeared on Andy Cohen‘s Bravo talk show Watch What Happens Live and made ridiculously offensive generalizations about gay men. It was horrifying for all involved, though she didn’t seem to catch the look on Cohen’s face.

(She also said that all Jewish men are liars, which is equally appalling.)

Okay, here’s what I want to know: Why in the hell didn’t Andy Cohen kick this useless pair of fake tits with bad extensions off the show when she told him that gay men can’t be monogamous? Or how about when she said that telling a man he looks straight is a compliment, because it means he’s not “queeny.” Bitch should have been out the door before that word got past her fake plastic lips.

I’m sorry, were we not supposed to mention how obviously fake they are?

But since Andy Cohen didn’t take that responsibility, pretty much the entire online community sounded a collective WTF for the next twelve hours. When Patti found out that people didn’t think her awesome stereotypes, while handy and time-saving, were hilarious, she took to twitter to “apologize.” Here’s what it looked like:

Okay, here’s where it gets personal for me. See, I caught wind of this mess during my lunch break at work, and like everyone who lives online, I checked on twitter, found the fake apology, and tweeted back a couple of my famously witty rejoinders, which included introducing Patti to Peter LaBarbera. I think they’d really hit it off.

Then CNN quoted one of my tweets. I’M FAMOUS, Y’ALL!!!

The quote came as part of an article about Patti’s appearance on Joy Bahar’s show on Monday night, in which she “apologized” again, then said that gays are whores. But she loves us, she really does. She has all sorts of gay friends!

Okay, first of all? No, that wasn’t the question. Scroll back up and check the tape. The question was from Dustin in Canton, Ohio, who wanted to know about open long distance relationships, not Tyler in Los Angeles, who wanted a commitment. (Tyler was the one you “complimented” by saying he looked straight, remember? I know we all look the same; maybe we could all wear differently colored hats to help you tell us apart.)

Secondly, yes, you said all gays, not “gays in Los Angeles,” which I’m sure would be offensive to a lot of LA gays, too.

Thirdly, Grindr can definitely have a sex-now atmosphere, but nothing in the culture surrounding Grindr requires me to locate a rest stop bathroom before I get fucked. I’m allowed to do that in my own house. (I know, right? THEY LET ME DO THAT!!) And the reason for Grindr’s GPS is that there aren’t a heck of a lot of us around, and it’s nice to know that I may not be able to swing a dead cat and hit a homo out here in Dayton, Ohio, but my brothers in arms are indeed out here.

(By the way, the straight equivalent of Grindr? 99 percent of bars, movie theaters, gas stations, schools, workplaces, and streets all across the country.)

Fourth, saying “I’m sorry if [insert person or group here] is offended” is not an apology. It’s an effort to move responsibility for what you did back at the other party. Either apologize or don’t; just don’t pretend to apologize. It’s offensive, it’s childish, and however little I may think of you, I’m pretty sure it’s beneath both of us.

Okay, let’s continue. (I just can’t get enough of Patti digging her hole deeper!)

Patti and everybody else needs to understand this last point, so I’m putting it in a nice bold font: Getting married to the person you choose is not a privilege. It is a Civil Right.

The US Supreme Court has defined choosing the person you marry as a Civil Right for nigh on a hundred years. Calling it a ‘privilege’ demeans the institution and the blood that was spilled to afford Americans — ALL Americans — that right.

Look, I’m not going to lose a lot of sleep over some fame whore being a bigot. But honey, what you’re saying? They are words of bigotry. Own it. Saying that “The Gays” are categorically defined as whores, or even that we’re all great motherfucking home decorators, is not something you do if you have an atom of affection for a group of people.

And seriously, call Peter. He’d love to get his hands on your extensions, girl.

(cc) Matt Algren for Asterisk, 2011. | Permalink